Fly on the wall, don't let me be. That fly on the wall that knows it all. Those nosy
flies whose eyes espy snippets they knit into well spun yarns.

Some people just can't mind their business. Some thrive on other peoples news to have something to say over the morning cup of tea next door. Have to dump some gossip in while dunking biscuits. What else would they talk about? They don't really want their own news coming to the fore. Better that left behind closed doors.

So all the "did ya hear about?"s, ...the "then he..."'s " and the "tsk tsk..."'s cluck from tongues that have nothing better to do. Snoops and gossips have their place, because they can't keep pace with the human race. My advice to them is to get a hobby since they obviously have no life of their own to speak of.

If they're talking about you, don't fret; at least you have a life!

I don't wear makeup that often; lipstick yes, but that's about it. On occasions I will dab some on. On one such recent ocasion,I went to use my eyeliner and it was bone dry. GRRR...now, normally, I live without it, but being a full moon and all, I had to have some,and started the hunt but where to look? That was my only eyeliner. Brown lip liner? Nope, too bloodlike, wasn't in a vampira mood. I scanned the room.

Aha! ...perhaps a solution. That tube of acrylic burnt sienna was looking like a good substitute, my painting corner had a nice thin brush. What the heck? First, I put a line near the eye, to see if any well; burning would occur. No problem there, then I put it along the eyelid. Note the along the eyelid part, not on the membrane of the eyelid.

It worked a charm. Didn't run, clump or burn and it came off easily.

Now I'm not telling anyone to do this, I'm only saying that it was what worked for me when under cosmetic pressure.

Dating! Ugh, the pain of it all. But, in order to mate, we must date.

People attack this task with varied strategies, from both private and public perspectives.
First line of call usually involves trawling the dating scene venues; pubs, nightclubs, parties. Single people who are searching for that “special someone” hunt these fields. If this trail leads nowhere, they seek professional assistance.

Matchmaking is one of the oldest and most natural trades. In rural areas of old, before
cars, planes and trains, their services were invaluable. The village could be small and spread wide with single people never crossing one another’s path. The matchmaker would be called by either the family or the individual seeking a partner. He would discuss what type of person they were looking for in terms of personality, looks, strength, land and dowry.

My great uncle was such a broker. His name was Dan Paddy Andy from Lyrecrompane and the late, great John B. Keane wrote copious accounts of his trade. He is credited with over 400 successful matches.

With technological advancement, dating has become more accessible. Dating agencies, online dating, speed dating and personal ads all widen the opportunity for finding that match.

People are busy in this day and age. Many people working in cities spend three hours travelling back and forth to work. An eight hour work day, three hours travelling, eight hours sleep, an hour to eat and dress for work, that’s twenty hours gone! Leaving four hours a day as the time slot for extra curricular activity; dating.

Many are tired of the pub scene, don’t go to nightclubs and have had their fill of blind dates. Disasters created by well meaning friends. They turn to the professionals, who have huge a database of others searching for that soul mate. At least everyone is on the same page there, they are all saying “here I am, single and searching.” This makes it easier to start some sort of dialogue; knowing they are open and free to date.

I’ve heard of many people that have regularly used these services and have had mixed experiences. Some love it for the sheer variety it offers as they like tasting many samples before making a final choice. Some have met some weirdo’s that have left a bad taste in their mouth and some have met people that have become good friends but not lovers or potential mates.

The advice they’ve given follows.

Do have a few conversations, either online or via telephone and feel them out. Do they sound like someone you’d really want to meet? Do they sound mentally healthy, positive?

Do some searches on the information they’ve provided. See if anything comes up to verify any content in their biography.

Meet in a public place for that face to face encounter. You never really know when there is a stranger involved whether you are being set up for something more sinister than a date. Men, you could be talking to the most gorgeous blonde in the world, everything is going well and she’s invited you to her place for a night-cap. Careful!

She could possibly be working with someone waiting to rob you once you leave that public meeting point. Women, you know yourself, avoid situations where you will be alone and prone to being overpowered and sexually attacked.

These are important things to consider before we run off to meet that Adonis who is also looking for companionship and love. Enjoy the hunt but remember to be cautious.

Theresa Daly

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Dating, the dreaded “D” word. That thing that comes before the dreaded “L” word!

Dating occurs in a myriad of shapes and forms across multi-tiered factors; chronological age groups, laws of modern society and varied cultural differences.
Whatever category you happen to be in at the moment, rest assured there are others who are going or have gone through the same ritual.

Think back to your pre-teens. A mad hormonal time for those of the human species. Boys usually had to muster up the courage and ask girls out. This normally took place when they were grouped together, huddled in the schoolyard .One head popping up every now and then stalking the targets movement. The huddle suddenly breaks and there’s one guy being shoved into the girl’s path through a chorus of whispers “Go on, ask her.”


There she is, a crowd of boys and one red faced fellow blocking her way.
“Uh…, hi.”
“Hi” she replies, as the whispers behind him quieten. He stands in her path looking a bit frozen, stiff for what seems an eternity. The chorus begins “Go on, ask her. Ask her”.
“Umm… you goin’ to the match on Thursday?”
“The match? Oh yes, I am going to the-”
“Okay. I’ll meet you there so.” and away he runs.
“Okay.”


Bingo! Suddenly she has been positioned for that first giant step in the dating game. Or IS it a date? Does he mean that he is going to meet me there and stay in my company the whole time? Does he mean I am supposed to stay with him the whole time? Does he mean that he is going to meet me with his friends? Am I supposed to bring my friends? Is this all a joke? Did he ask me on a dare?

Thoughts similar to these run through the head of many young women. This angst often remains throughout their dating life because women are constantly analysing every little thread of what he says. Microscopically, they dissect the words and think of what inflection was used when the lines were delivered.

A twenty something year old couple have a “First date”. He, being respectful is dropping her home. The fact that he is being polite is but a footnote. All she keeps thinking. “He doesn’t like me. He’s taking me home, can’t wait to get rid of me. I’m too fat, talked too much. Not sexy enough….

He turns to her in the car, kisses her on the cheek and says “Thanks, had a really nice time. I’d like do it again.” At this point she has worked herself into a tizzy (...On the cheek, only on the cheek?) She’s mortified, but wait! Did say he’d like to do it again? “Yeah, it was nice. We can I guess, if you’d like.” (can’t sound too needy) smiles and she runs out of the car.

“…I guess?” What did that mean? He had treated her respectfully, didn’t make an untoward pass (though he wanted to) and even admitted he’d had a nice time. What did he do wrong? He has no idea at how she had worked herself up. By the time she finished thinking of all the reasons she was rejected, and realised he was asking to meet again, she didn’t want to sound desperate, so she was ambivalent.

The thing is; men/women, we are same species, different creatures. The key is we need to stop thinking so much, relax and be in the moment. Breathe that air; as opposed to what you think is going on. Be honest; communicate directly with one another (and not to that little voice in your head).

”What’s for ya won’t pass ya” as the saying goes.

Attraction, between humans, what makes it happen? What combined elements create the magnet that draw two people together? Is it visual, chemical, gold digging or comfort seeking? What makes a man fall totally in love with one woman and not the other? What makes him able to love a blonde one year and a brunette the next? What makes a curvaceous twenty year old fall in love with a sixty five year old man?

Research on attraction and dating ritual abounds in this century as before. It is now and will be an ongoing subject of study for generations to come. Perhaps some day they will be able to create a true ‘love potion’ that would make falling in love as easy as microwave-ready dinners. Just open an “MHC packet”, one that is opposite to the person you want to attract, mix with one glass of water and drink slowly. The person you wish to attract is immediately drawn to you.

Style Magazine in the Sunday Times features an amazing article by Martie G Haselton, a behavioural scientist in America. She talks about genetic research and “that each of us will be attracted to people who possess a particular set of genes, known as the major histocompatability complex (MHC), Mates with dissimilar MHC genes produce healthier offspring with broad immune systems.”

Data they’ve collected back this up showing that we tend to pick those who “suit us” that “…couples tend to be less similar in their MHC than if they had been paired randomly”.
They don’t fully understand how these people find one another, but they know that smell has a lot to do with it. Studies where people rated tee-shirts scented by “…dissimilar MHC as most attractive.” fully support the theory that a sexual chemistry does exist.

Studies on women taking hormonal contraception showed the reverse, that they chose men with similar MHC genes. In an aside she proffers some interesting advice “(best to smell him first and go on the pill afterwards)”. More chemical confirmation came when they found men rated women’s scents as “more attractive when they are near ovulation” and are “more loving to their partner as ovulation approaches.” Women prefer masculine traits when they get near ovulation while at other times in the cycle “…prefer less sexiness and more stability.”


The marketing possibilities are endless; MHC tea, MHC patches, designer MHC. Don’t forget; ovulation calculation gadgets, alarms and ring tones. And oh yes, the Cleansing MHC packet to “wash that man right outta your hair”. The rejuvenation MHC tea, for an upgrade, another adventure.


What to gather from this fascinating study? Get me a calendar! I’m gonna mark out those ovulation days and make the most of chemical pulling power! Do my own little study and see whether or not I get more attention from the male species during that time or the other cycle days. Science, you’ve got to love it. What a piece of arsenal for the huntress’ out there.

Theresa Daly